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“All of the other reindeer”

December 22, 2010

“Rudolph, the red-nosed reindeer
Had a very shiny nose
And if you ever saw him
You would even say it glows

All of the other reindeer
Used to laugh and call him names
They never let poor Rudolph
Join in any reindeer games 

Then one foggy Christmas Eve
Santa came to say
Rudolph with your nose so bright
Won’t you guide my sleigh tonight

Then all the reindeer loved him

That’s where I’ll stop. Seriously?! That’s the most fickle crowd of reindeer I’ve ever heard of! Let’s break it down:

1) Rudolph is born with a defect: a bright, shiny red nose
2) Because of this, Rudolph is an outcast, kind of like a leper
3) As if that weren’t enough, all the other reindeer laugh and joke about his deformity
4) Rudolph is not allowed to join in normal reindeer festivities, like horseshoes and pin-the-tail-on-the-donkey
5) Santa thinks Rudolph’s nose is a scream, so he hires Rudolph
6) As a result, all the reindeer love Rudolph

And this is a Christmas hit?!?! I’m sorry, America, but this is a ridiculous display of fair-weather friending, and I for one will not tolerate it. Santa or not, “all of the other reindeer” are pitiful excuses for reindeer. More like lamedeer.

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